Never A-loan

I know what y’all thinking … she spelled that wrong. But if you’ve been following me since the beginning you know I love a play on words. LOL. Call me corny or call me genuius. Either way you’ll get it once you get into today’s post.

Since having the baby you guys know I’ve been all out of sorts personally but more so professionally. I’ve felt so unbalanced. The mommy thing is an ever evolving role but I’m doing my best. Professionally, I’m just … I don’t know.

This past July I started a job. Yup. A job. *rolls eyes*. Not that its anything wrong with working but when it’s something you ain’t feeling each day it’s a “Lord get me through” day. In my search to do something low maintenance and flexible, I ended up at a car dealership doing loaners. Basically, when customer’s come in for repairs that will take more than a day we provide them with a loaner car if available. So the position is very customer oriented. Which I’m excellent at. I’d just rather be doing it somewhere else or maybe not at all. I don’t know y’all.  And, no shade against the dealership that hired me, I appreciate the opportunity. But it all happened so fast.

This post might be a little lengthy but I’ll try to give you the short of the long. My uncle has been in the car business probably before I was born. So I reached out to him to see if his dealership had any openings, like a receptionist or something. He said he’d look into it and get back to me. He asked around and in a few days sent me the number of the Supervisor in the hiring department. It wasn’t at his dealership but across the street at their sister store.

So I contacted the supervisor on a Wednesday. She told me to come in and fill out an application. I went up on a Friday. And that’s all I thought I was doing was filling out an application. But they decided to interview me on the spot and guess who gets hired in less than an hour of being there? That would be me! To myself, I’m like wayment. I’m just putting some feels out there I’m not even sure this is something I want to do.  But I said ok. What could it hurt. If I don’t like it I can leave.

In less than two months, I was read … to … go. I prepared my “I’m getting the hell outta hea” letter, talked to my supervisor and surprisingly, she was very understanding. That was on a Wednesday but I told her to give me until Friday. Because I wanted to be sure I just wasn’t acting like a spoiled brat. Friday came and something in me … most likely my Father, God, told me to hold off.  So I did.

Let me just add the car business is a very stressful business. I had no idea. But it’s sales, so there you have it. And while my position isn’t it at all stressful, I’m not fittin’ to let that energy transfer to me. It’s not for the faint at heart, which I’m certainly not. But-uh-ruh long term it’s not in my deck of cards.  And while things have gotten better since the time I was ready to be Audi 5000 G, this is just temporary.

Howevssss, I realized there must be some purpose in being there. The way things happened so fast. I mean I’m quite the charmer but that was speedy. And since my time being there I’ve been able to connect with people, particularly women, that either I’ve been able to encourage or who have been able to encourage me.

On August 23rd,  I met a young lady around my age. She was really pretty and personable. As I prepped her work for her loaner, we talked about other things and realized we shared a similar experience. Right away, I felt a connection.  Whether it was to encourage each other or set up a few play dates with our sons, I felt like we should stay connected. So I asked if I could have her number to keep in touch. She said sure.  We hadn’t communicated until about a two weeks ago when I reached out to her to say hello and see how she was doing.

She happened to come into the dealership yesterday – two months to the day of our first meeting – and boy did I need the pep talk she gave. Earlier that day I had just reached out to another young lady that I’ve been wanting to connect with. I told her that I needed some motivation and inspiration right now. I was unhappy in my current position. So we planned to meet up soon.

Well apparently God thought I needed that inspiration and encouragement sooner than later because a few hours later my new friend walks in because she got a flat tire. He heard me and sent this woman in to deliver a message. Divine intervention you could say.

My conversation with her was so what I needed to re-focus my thoughts. There are things I talk about doing to get back in line with what I want to be doing but I put so much pressure on myself thinking that what I’m doing right now isn’t enough. She asked me:

“What do you value right now?”

Y’all almost started crying. I knew right away it was spending more time with my son.

Yes, I want to make money but in the words of Diamond from the Player’s Club, “make the money, don’t let the money make you”.  LOL. “Because money can’t make us anything … only our actions can make us something. Money can buy you things that make life easier but one thing it cannot buy is happiness.”  And well y’all I wanna be happy.

Our encounter has helped me to remember that we are not alone in the challenges we face. God hears us and before you know it He will send someone your way who has been where you’ve been to say, basically, “I made it through. You can do this. You will figure this out.” And to think, if I had never accepted this position I’m in now he couldn’t position me for my next season.

So will I quit tomorrow? I don’t know. I just know, I cannot … I will not … loan any more of my time to doing something I’m unhappy doing. I just have to believe in myself more than I believe in my current circumstance.

Thanks Tianna for your encouragment.