When we decided to go through IVF we did not share our decision to do so with a lot of people. This was a personal choice. It’s not that I thought people would think less of me or feel sorry for me. Or, that I didn’t want the support and prayers. My heart led me to this very personal decision. When it was time to reveal my journey … I would. But if your friend or family member decides to share this journey, which can be both full of hope and desperation, here are few things you can do to encourage them.
1. Be 100% Supportive. Going through IVF can be a trying time for some. You’re friends need you to respect their decision. Of course everyone would love to conceive their children naturally and for free but because of circumstances beyond their control, this may be the best or only way they can. There is nothing wrong with having to go through this process. God is still in every step of the way.
2. Keep them in Prayer. You want your friend to get through this process with a positive, hopeful state of mind. Praying with them and for them will give you and them the power to get through this process with less stress and worry.
3. Learn About The Process. Maybe you don’t fully understand what IVF is. The internet and your local library has tons of information to help you understand what its all about. You being somewhat knowledgable about the process will help you and your friend have better conservations during treatments, mood swings and whatever else they may experience during the process. As an informed friend it shows you have their best interest at heart.
4. Don’t Bombard them with a lot Questions. Isn’t it enough that people ask, “when you are going to have children?” Now that they know you are going through IVF they got more questions. “What’s going on? Are you pregnant yet? Why is it taking so long? Do think its going to work?” Be delicate with your questions and concerns. When they are ready to share more personal details with you … they will. Until then just ask if they need help with anything, like accompanying them to an appointment.
5. Celebrate their Choice. Send a card, take them to lunch or dinner or schedule a girls night out. This is a big costly decision and they need to know that no matter what, you are on board to take this ride with them. Days can be challenging and overwhelming. Let them know you are loving and supporting them through the process.
If you are going through IVF or thinking about it, I pray that God fills your heart with Truth, Direction, Promise and Love.